Monday, December 12, 2011

Egg Beating My Husband into Submission


One of the gifts Mr. Wonderful gave me last Christmas was a bottle of my favorite body lotion paired with this blue dachshund-shaped massager. I love this thing. It works the kinks in my neck like nobody's business. And each appendage serves different muscle-knot purposes. The feet are fantastic for big, sweeping massagery (yes, just made up that word), the nose is slightly more pointed for digging and the tail is pretty much like a slightly rounded ice pick.

Over the last year, Mr. W and I have routinely uttered the phrase, "I need you to use the dog on me tonight," when our backs and necks are particularly knotty. (Note: not "naughty" - "knotty" - the dog is not used for anything creepy and weird. Neck kinks are as kinky as it gets around here, folks.)

Anyway, given how much we adore the dog, I thought the gift below would probably be a big hit in Mr. W's stocking this year. See, he loves having his head rubbed and that little egg beater is a scalp massager.

We had seen these contraptions before and laughed at them, but when Amazon suggested one to me this year for the bargain price of $2.89, I really couldn't resist. If anything, I knew it would make Mr. W laugh when he saw it. 

This past week, he had a really long hard day at work, so when he arrived home I told him he could open one of his presents early. Of course he cracked up when he saw it. But then we tried it...


I cannot tell you how amazing this thing feels on your head. I almost drooled.

Mr. W looked drunk after I spent a few minutes popping it up and down on his cranium. He was in ecstasy. I don't know how you could hang onto any stress after spending time with the egg beater. It is seriously a godsend.

I'm so addicted to it that I've put it on my head every day since he opened it. Yes, picture me sitting on the couch self-stimulating my scalp. Perverted, right? Ohh but it's sooo wooonderfulll.

This weekend, Mr. W looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, "Can we take the egg beater to bed with us tonight?" He's such a wild man. 

I think as we laid side-by-side, me gently grasping his head with the claw machine of delight, I heard the massage dog wimper from my nightstand.

There's a new massager in town and It Is SPECTACULAR.

Do yourself a favor—go on Amazon and order one. Your head will be thanking you all the year through.


  1. So I think I got the high-falutin' version of these because it is called the "Tingler" and cost way more than your $2.89 price. I agree, it's pretty spectacular!


  3. I love it, but somehow it doesn't feel nearly as good when you're doing it to yourself. And, yes, I'm going to slip a "that's what HE said" in here for good measure.

  4. Can you bring that thing to dinner on Wed? I think we should pass it around the table at the pizza joint. Poor Beth is really going to be sorry she missed this!

  5. I don't own one of those but a few years ago in a mall some kiosk woman walked up to me with one and I believe my exact reaction was "EW! No! Gross, who knows wher--- djkafueisureafjhhvjdshf! DO IT MOOORRRRRE."

  6. That's so freaking cheap! Except in my attempt to own less "stuff" as of late, this will have to go on a wish list for a rainy day...

  7. I'm pretty sure my hair would hate the world if I tried that massage contraption. I'd seriously need to shave my head from the rat's nest! But, head massages most definitely are the best - mmmmmmmmmm.

  8. I had the same reaction "L" had when someone approached me. I never had it forced on me though, since I was running away yelling "Stay away from me Pervert!

  9. Anita - The Tingler sounds much sexier! But the egg beater still hits all the right spots.

    Janice - Seriously, it will change your life.

    HunnerWoof - I beg to differ. I found the self-initiated massage just as fulfilling as when Mr. W did it to me. See, I know how to hit all my spots just right....

    BigSister - I'll bring it on Christmas for sure but I think our family using it in public could lead to trouble - so tomorrow is out.

    L - Hahaha exactly! You can't judge until you try it.

    Jane - You could always just cut the end off your whisk at home and stick that to your head.

    Nilsa - I think you'd be okay! It has little covers over all the prongs, so it doesn't really stick in your hair - just don't spin it while you're massaging!

    MissMcCracken - Next time, embrace the pervert! :P

  10. I've always wondered about those things. What a bargain deal you got! I love how much of what you said, if overheard, could totally be taken out of context. ;-)

  11. a year from now you need to repost these comments without any context!


Well, whatdya think?