Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Las Vegas: The Long and Short of It


Anyone who has ever been to Vegas more than once probably has a scandalous story about how Sin City took hold of them or someone they were vacationing with and all hell broke loose. I think maybe your first trip to LV can turn out okay, but there's no way you can walk away from that place clean every time. At least once or twice after a visit you'll be regaling your friends about how your college boyfriend got drunk and yelled across a casino, "I have five words for you: I Will Never Marry You!" or how your childhood bff infiltrated a bachelor party and disappeared for the rest of the night.

No? Okay fine those two are my stories.

But I do know plenty of other people who have gotten into fist fights, had male strippers steal their wallets (no joke— photographic evidence showed the snatching in progress at a bachelorette party) and misplaced friends only to find out they'd passed out in a bathroom stall somewhere.

There is a reason the movie The Hangover was written. 

Mr. W and I had no such stories whatsoever after spending 3 days in Vegas this week. The wildest thing he did was wear his flip flops for an entire day (he has short toe cleavage and generally doesn't find sandals to be the most comfortable option) and I got crazy by buying a pair of shorts at the Banana Republic outlet. (I've been wearing long cargo shorts only for the past several years—haven't owned an actual short pair of shorts in who knows how long.) We are wildly out of control like that, and in addition to hitting up the outlets we also drove to Lake Mead and toured around the Hoover Dam.



Off the hook, yo. Well, actually it was a little crazy because this was the temperature while we were taking in the sights:


Despite our tame visit (which included dinner at Cut and Mesa—both of which were delicious) we did end up with a picture we cannot share with anyone ever. No, it's not Mr. W in his leopard skin loincloth again, it's one of me...appearing to be sans panties.

After dinner last night, as we were strolling back through Caesar's Palace, I goofily told Mr. W to take my picture sitting between a horse statue's hooves. Crazy Vegas behavior. When I looked at the camera, I realized you could see right up my dress, and worse yet, the shadow and angle of my thighs came together just so, forming a sort of v-shape and well....it looks like a naked crotch shot. Horrifying, really.

Here's a special version of it just for context:


Of course we laughed hysterically for a good 5 minutes. But I'm starting to rethink the Banana Republic outlet shorts lest they lead to another accidental scary thigh configuration...

17 comments:

  1. My first "real" trip to Vegas (aka post Mormon deprivation period), I got drunk in Coyote Ugly. Then, I puked my guts out in the bathroom in the casino. Then, laid down on the floor surrounded by slot machines demanding they call an ambulance. Which they did. Only to tell me...you're drunk...go back to your hotel. A wild cab ride later and being wheeled through the lobby of the Hilton (where they had that Star Trek shit going on, so all I remember were Klingons staring at me) in a wheelchair to my room. Then, more puking, and worrying I was never going to be able to non-rev on a flight back to SLC where I had to work the next day. Yeah...that was my first Vegas experience. God love it.

    BTW...Suzy was there. And so was Kelly.

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    1. I'm so glad you can hold your liquor now. Christmas wouldn't be the same with you arcing vomit across the room.

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  2. Just imagine having to fly to Vegas every Monday morning for work. You and your work cohorts are in suits and everyone else is wearing track suits getting their drink on. That was my life for 4-5 months back in the late 1990s. I was actually well behaved every week - I cannot say the same of my male colleagues. Funny story from that time, though ... about eight months after I wrapped up that project, I ran a marathon in Washington DC. At the finish line, I ran into one of the flight attendants who was a regular on our trips from Vegas back to Chicago every Thursday night. We totally recognized each other and had a good laugh about how poorly behaved my male colleagues were by our Thursday night flight. =)

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    1. That is so funny you ran into the flight attendant! Small world. And I CANNOT imagine going to Vegas every week. That sounds utterly exhausting.

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  3. I may be the only person without a scandalous/dramatic Vegas story. Most of my visits there have included a marathon or half marathon with my running club, though, so I guess that's why. And I don't gamble and am a booze lightweight so maybe that's it? Dang, I sound like way too much fun, don't I?
    But your trip sounds pretty nice, even with the accidental x-rated shot. And the toe cleavage. ;)

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    1. Don't feel bad - aside from the accidental shot from this trip, I don't really have any of my own scandalous stories - it was always other people doing the crazy stuff!

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  4. Love this post and photos!

    I'm headed to Sin City soon as well... too funny. We are on the same adventure-maps it seems.

    Glad you had a blast - tame or not.

    xxoo

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    1. That is so funny that you're going there too! Clearly we're sharing some sort of cosmic travel vibe. ;)

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  5. I love your celebrity crotch shot! I've definitely had my share of "Hangover" stories in Vegas...not sure if I should really be proud of that though. I'm glad you talked about the shorts though because that's totally me! I'm scared to wear real shorts! I'll let you try it out first and let me know how it goes. Oh, and that BFF, who does that?! ;-)

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    1. Vegas helped me see the light on the shorts. EVERYONE was wearing short shorts and I figured, if they can do it, so can I! Go buy yourself a pair - it's very liberating.

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  6. My favortie part about The Hangover is when they are looking at the pictures at the end and remembering all the shenanigans...that is pretty much how every trip to Vegas in my 20's was.

    And for my bachelorette party there, it was particularly obnxious because in order to get into the bathroom stall (at a strip club) they had to UN-handcuff me from the inflatable penis AND blowup doll, and my HUGE inflatable penis hat barely fit in the stall. That's what friends are for.

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    1. The pictures are totally the best part of that movie. Well, and the satchel. Remind me to make you show me your bachelorette party pictures next time I see you!!

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  7. So I'm thinking Mr. W must have seen that "shot"
    in the view finder or screen of your camera. He must have liked what he saw!
    Glad you had fun despite the hot temperatures.

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  8. Mr. W is not a pervert like that. If he'd see it in the viewfinder, he would have said something like, "Pumpkin, close your legs."

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  9. Ha, love it. The best part about Vegas is that even with all the easy opportunities for debauchery, it is possible to stay relatively free of trouble. My stories range from lounging by the pool between gourmet meals to vague memories of boobs, women from strange places doing strange things, crashing parties, making new friends, gambling like a rock star, laughs and confusing attempts to recollect events. Glad you had fun and got crazy with your flip flops and shorts.

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  10. I love that you posted the photo with that big x. HA!

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  11. It's too hot for crazy! Still, I'm glad you had a wild time with your misleading photos, flip flops and short shorts :)

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Well, whatdya think?