A friend recently admitted to me that she was hesitant to get into a relationship because she didn't want to give up all the things she loved doing as a single person (we're talking hobbies and working out and stuff—not sleeping around or partying every night). This was such a foreign concept to me. I would have never thought that I'd have to resign my passions or pastimes to be with another person. Yet, in my friend's experience, this was how things went.
Looking back, I can remember wishing various boyfriends would have traded some of their independence and free time to devote more time to me. But now I am eternally grateful that I was not only forced to learn how to be alone back then—but am now in a marriage with someone who understands and respects my need to do my own thing sometimes. He doesn't fall apart if I'm not there to cook him dinner. He doesn't throw a fit if I say I want to go for a run with friends or spend the night at my sister's house. He doesn't need me to be with him every moment, and that's one of the things I love about him most.
I think he might say the same about me.
Just two weeks ago, I left my Mr. W for the weekend to attend a Martha Beck coaching retreat in Arizona. While I was doing this...
He was up at our Santa Ynez house doing this...
He painted and staked this snazzy, new locking mailbox to hold our junk mail in between visits.
He installed a new toilet in the guest bathroom (which desperately needs to be painted).
He also picked some apples from our new tree, plus an unripe cantaloupe (oops), and some of the most delicious tomatoes we've had all year. Three cheers for backyard bounty!
He even took himself out to dinner at the local brewery one night. All alone. I may enjoy the freedom to do my own thing, but going out to eat solo still ranks low on that list. I love that Mr. W is so open and self-sufficient.
All this separate togetherness will serve us well in the coming months when he leaves to go work on a movie in Canada. I'm sure I'll be back online complaining about how terrible it is to be in Hollywood without him, but at least I know I can geek out and work on crafts or writing or house decorating stuff in his absence. And the fact that his last few weeks on the shoot are in Hawaii doesn't hurt... Aloha, strategically planned husband reunion.
I feel very lucky that we didn't lose our individual selves when we pledged eternal fidelity. I think it'll keep things interesting in the years to come.
P.S. If you want to read a little insight piece from my Martha Beck trip, check out this week's post on The Path to Wonderful.