Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Company We Keep

I love this picture. Mr. W took it when we were visiting the central coast.
Don't they just feel like they're unconditionally in love?
The house has been pretty quiet since Mr. Wonderful left Monday night.

I'm not sure if it's the late summer sunsets or the cool evening air that are making me nostalgic, or if it's just the hush of living single again. But last night I was doing a lot of relationship pondering (and crafting...shameless plug:

I thought about a couple of my favorite girlfriends who are both moving away from LA soon. These two girls changed me. They're the ones who got me to climb Half Dome. They're the ones who encouraged me to run and eventually complete multiple half marathons. They've been my sounding boards, my advisers, my exercise partners and my favorite comedic companions for several years now. I'm not quite sure what I'll do without them nearby.

It could have been because I was thinking of them that, when I crawled into bed and glanced at the picture on my nightstand, I thought about how much I like who I am with Mr. Wonderful. I saw myself smiling such a genuine smile in the photo. I just had this funny flicker of, "I like that girl."

That hasn't always been the case in my relationships—friendship or otherwise. There have been some people who bring out the baddies in me. Friends who enticed my sharp tongue or coerced my sleeping sloth. Boyfriends who inflated my anxiety. People who I allowed to get to me in such a way that I turned into an insecure, unhappy little waif.

But we all get to choose who receives our time. We can seek and be loyal to those who make us feel like our best, happiest, most motivated selves. Or we can stagnate with the people who make us feel awful.

As I switched off the light last night, I was filled with a feeling of relief and gratitude that I married one who makes me feel so right. And that those friends who continually propel me forward will always be only a phone call away.


  1. It took me a while to learn to trust my own feels about the relationships I kept and to ignore feeling obligated to keep the ones I didn't really want.

    I purged some relationships in the process and I'm glad I did because you wouldn't have dated me if I really were a sad sack...

    In sum, I like the way you make me feel too.

  2. It's physically impossible to be a sad sack and a wonderful, could-be-cyborg, Mr. W.

  3. Damn I did make a typo!


  4. just your comments back and forth to each other on this post are cute!
    but you are right, there are those that bring out the best in us, and it's those people we should devote our precious time too. reminds me of a carrie bradshaw quote about friends... at the end of the last episode ever...

  5. here it is:
    “Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

  6. I so agree with this: But we all get to choose who receives our time. We can seek and be loyal to those who make us feel like our best, happiest, most motivated selves.

    And think you and Mr. W are pretty damn cute together.

  7. I love this happy post!! :)(and I am a Facebook addict because I tried to *like* Mr. W's comment.

  8. "Or we can stagnate with the people who make us feel awful."

    Stagnate or disintegrate? I think I did the latter oh way back when. Here's to people who are good for us, and for the people we're good for too.

  9. Brookem - You already know I love you for reminding me of that quote. :)

    Sizzle - I think sometimes we forget (at least when we're young) that we have a choice. We don't have to keep the toxic people - or the ones who make us feel bad about ourselves - in our lives.

    Mandy - Your choice of words is much more appropriate. It definitely covers the lying-on-the-floor-crying-at-the-ceiling better than "stagnate" does. Oh if only we knew better when we were younger...

  10. Laura - Oops I skipped you! That is funny. I think I can actually add a "Like" feature to my posts. Maybe I'll look into it just for you. :)

  11. I hear ya. I was in crazy crush mode with a guy that made me feel like I needed to be some environmental soapbox nutcase. And I adored him anyway even though I didn't like me that much.

    You're so right with "But we all get to choose who receives our time." Now, I try to hang with people with whom I'm more me.

  12. I really like this one - Did you write it for me? I also love that Mr. W made a typo and then was agitated about it! I wouldn't have even noticed if he hadn't pointed it out!!!


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