Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In Distance and in Closeness, for Richer and for Poorer

I was planning to write a post about some dismal thoughts I had a couple weeks ago. The distance between Hollywood (where I am) and London (where Mr. W is) was beginning to weigh heavily on me, and I caught myself thinking, This isn't marriage.

Marriage is about two people being together. Not apart.

Then I thought about military wives. And how I have nothing to whine about. Military wives actively participate in marriages where togetherness is impossible for long durations of time. Military wives have to worry that their husbands may never come home to them. Military wives are rockstars.

I then realized that surviving distance is exactly what marriage is about. It should be one of the worst-case scenarios covered in the vows. In sickness and in health, in close proximity and in differing time zones. Commitment is commitment even when external factors complicate it.

I thought I had a clearer perspective on marriage.

And then today I found out that my entire team at work is being laid off.

And that really gave me perspective on marriage.

Of course, Mr. W was the first person I contacted after I found out the news. After asking me if I was okay, he made a joke about us moving to Tuscany. Then he assured me that I didn't need to worry. He would be there for me. My soft place to land.

When I was laid off from my advertising job in 2003, my family and friends were really wonderful and forthcoming with their support. I knew I could turn to them. But there's something really incredible about having a husband to turn to this time. A partner I know I can count on. I really do love this whole marriage thing...


  1. Oh man! I am so sorry. I am glad you have each other and you are not alone. Xoxo

  2. Boo to layoffs! I'm sorry about that, lovely lady. I AM super glad that during this tricky time you have your soft place to land. What a wonderful way to think about someone. Like sizzle says- I'm glad you have each other. You are definitely in my thoughts.

  3. It's funny that you and I write opposite entries today. :)

    I think it's awesome you have Mr. W, especially when crazy things like this happen. My best friend was a military wife and they were apart for a very long time, but as you said, in the end, it was always about celebrating them being together, even if it was on FB chat at random hours while he was in Afghanistan.

    Chin up! You got a hot wonderful hubbie! :)

  4. I'm sorry about the layoff. That is so disappointing. I'm glad you not only have your Mr W to be there for you but also that you picked one who will make you see the other perspective. Enjoy Tuscany. ;) Hugs to you.

  5. We all are always here to support you.

  6. What I've learned through marriage is it's the toughest life moments when you realize just how supportive your spouse really can be. Huge bummer that your company can't find a way to retain you. But, I know you. And I see new opportunities and new doors opening. And my guess is, they might be very different doors than if Mr. W wasn't in your life. Time to pursue publishing a book, me thinks! =)

  7. Ugh! Companies are so fickle about their marketing/advertising divisions. In three years they'll be crying for your team again

    Im' glad you find the positive in all this!

  8. I'm delighted to hear about your lay off. It's TIME. YEAH! Write more. I'm with Mr. W. Move to Tuscany.

  9. Sizzle - Thanks, girl. I think it would help even more if he were in the country but I'll take what I can get!

    Brandy - Thank you. It is a tricky time, but it's also like a million doors of possibility have opened in front of me.

    Jane - I just finally read your post. And commented, of course. :) Military wives amaze me. Your best friend is a stronger person than I.

    LesleyG - Thank you. Hopefully we'll figure out some fantastic master plan to implement after this - Tuscany or not!

    *^_^* - That's why I love blogging!

    Nilsa - You are so right. I don't know why I hadn't realized that. I guess I'm still new at this whole thing. :) I think something will definitely be published very soon - even if it's self-published!

    MissMcCracken - I know, it's definitely an up and down business. I'm actually hoping maybe I'll get some freelance work from them in the future!

    Janice - I knew you'd be excited. :) Maybe we'll be out your way sometime next year. We shall see. So glad I have a pro like you to turn to if I need advice!

  10. i'm so sorry to hear this lousy news my friend. i hope that many wonderful opportunities begin to present themself to you in the not so distant future! you have so much going for you and i just know deep down that there are many good things to come. xoxo


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