Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Mr. W's D Cup Dreams Are Finally Coming True

I'll never forget the day I realized I needed to start wearing a bra. I was in 7th grade and we were having scoliosis tests done in P.E. class. While all the other pubescent girls lined up in their white cotton training bras, I stood by in a pink ribbed tank top. I was flat-chested and didn't see a real need to buy any sort of undergear. Until, of course, I saw that I was one of the only girls without it. And thus began my stint with the little triangle-top Calvin Klein training bras (which I could probably still squeeze into).

Nowadays, whenever I complain about being small-chested, Mr. W will try to reassure me with, "I like your little boobs." Kind of like "look at how darling that miniature tea set is" or "that small pothole is the cutest one on the whole street."

Given the adjectives usually associated with my mammaries, I was absolutely overjoyed to add a new one to the mix this weekend.

It all started when my 13-year-old niece told me she wore a 34B. Now, she's only 4' 11" and she's a tiny little peanut. The thought that she would need a bra size bigger than mine just did not seem right. So I introduced her to The Bra Lady:

Go ahead, watch the video, I'll wait...

I first saw this video a couple years ago when Daily Candy sent it out in one of their emails. I remember finding it interesting, but the only thing that stuck was that I shouldn't wear my boulder (or pebble, in my case) holder on the tightest hook.

After the niece and I watched it, of course we were compelled to grab my sewing tape measure to get our official stats. And that's where the magic began.

See, it turns out I have the same measurements as the first girl in the video - 27" ribcage, 31" bust. Which means...drumroll please...I am supposed to be a 30D. D CUP, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, D CUP!

My niece was right—her ribcage is bigger than mine (which is just bizarre) but her ratio is smaller, so she is technically a C cup. I'm sure she's delighted that I just blogged that.

I was SO excited to share this news with Mr. Wonderful when I spoke to him on Skype Saturday morning. Next time he tells me he likes my "little" girls, I'm going to remind him that these sisters are D's and that definitely doesn't stand for dainty!


  1. OMG, we're sisters b/c I was JUST posted my own story about this. HAHAHA

  2. Now you tell me...thanks a lot...think of all the money and pain I could've saved myself! BTW....I can't believe your niece has a smaller rib cage than you...I mean, you are tiny, but she is too!! Amazing.

  3. I know it's important to learn your true bra size but Mel, I'm scared and may be scarred to find out the truth... that my girls would probably enter the Z zone. 36 ZZ anyone?

  4. I have been measured and... assessed? before, and if I find out I'm anything more than a D already I'll jump out the window. No thank you.
    It is good to find out your nips are in the right place, though. So much information for women to remember!

  5. I don't even know where to begin commenting on this one...

  6. Jane - When are we going to meet? I swear we were separated (by 5 years) at birth!

    Laura - I can't believe she has a bigger rib cage either. She's so little! I guess she can't wear my wedding dress when she gets married now... And I think your money was well spent - you're probably an E now. ;)

    Scribe - Haha I wouldn't know what to do with Zs! These little B-ish Ds are plenty for me.

    LesleyG - I had no idea there were so many Ds out in the world! I feel like I'm seeing women in a whole new light.

  7. I'm entirely too embarrassed to post about my recent bra stories. Let's just say my life is like an avalanche and my boulders keep gaining in size!

  8. i think im confused! so jane was a 27... you add 3... =30. how did she get the D then? how did she come up with this 31?
    why do i suck at math?

  9. Nilsa - I think you should buy Sweets a flag and a rescue whistle in case he ever gets lost in there. :P

    Brookem - The 27 was her ribcage and the 31 was her actual bust measurement. So if you count the inches in between, 28=A, 29=B, 30=C, 31=D. And then I don't know why you have to add 3 inches to the ribcage measurement, but I guess that's how you get the number part. So 27+3 = 30 which means she's a 30D...just like me! :)

  10. I might need some help measuring on Sunday...almost scared to see what she would recommend for me!

  11. Ha! This is so funny! I wonder if I'm a D too...


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