I was already running two minutes late to meet a friend for dinner when I opened the back door to retrieve a bag of trash and noticed two pinkish wriggling worms smooshed between the threshold and the kitchen tile. The tiny worm was flipping and twirling like a madman. The fat one just seemed to be sort of tensing and releasing in place.
I can't be 100% certain, but I think I did four squealing laps around the kitchen.
There was no way in hell I was picking them up with a paper towel, but I had to get them out of the house somehow. Thinking quick, I whisked my flip-flop off and scraped it across the floor at the assailants.
And then I realized that they weren't worms.
They were two separate pieces of one very small lizard. The tiny breakdancing one was its tail. The fat lethargic one was its body.
It's amazing how fast a person can run with their toes completely curled.
I really wanted to just sit and wait for Mr. W to get an emergency flight home to come take care of this problem. But I had a dinner. So I had to solve the problem on my own.
I looked around the kitchen. Curse words may have been streaming from my mouth. That damn tail kept twirling the whole time I was frantically trying to formulate a plan. And then it hit me.
I grabbed a spatula from the drawer and flipped the tail out the back door. Then went the little lizard. Then I screamed and threw the spatula into the sink and did a few more flapping laps.
I'm going to have nightmares about that creepy little tail slinking into the house tonight.
Mr. W really cannot get back to the U.S. fast enough...