Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Turning the Other Cheek

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it here, but Mr. Wonderful's house has a rental unit under it, and back in June we got a new tenant.

She's a bubbly little 24-year-old who just moved into the area and so far she has been a fantastic renter. Mr. W just told me she already paid him for September, and the only peep I hear through the floor is occasional giggling when she has a boy over. (Which lately, of course makes this old cat lady miss her hubby.)

Because she's such a sweetheart, I didn't bat an eye when she asked me if she could lay out in the sun in our backyard. Of course she could. She was quiet and she brought us guacamole one day. Totally won me over.

And then I saw her Brazilian cut bikini and 24-year-old butt.

I was cleaning the kitchen and glanced out our back window to see a perfectly tanned, smooth, and petite cheek hanging out the edge of her black bottoms. I winced.

I don't think my butt ever looked like that.

My 35-year-old ass (at around 30 I think it goes from being a butt to being an ass) most certainly doesn't. Of course I had to peek out the window a few more times as she stood up to adjust on her towel. Thank God Mr. W isn't coming home for 4 more weeks. I have a feeling he might be finding all sorts of new yardwork that needs to be done back there while she's sunning herself.

On the positive side, I'm more motivated than ever to train for my next half marathon!


  1. I couldn't help but laugh at Mr. Wonderful's imagined interest in yard work.

    Mr. Wonderful seems way too smart for that. He knows you'd be giving him the stinkeye from the window!

  2. I'm not sure I completely understand this post. I think pictures would help.

  3. ha, this post made me chuckle, and then, jeff's comment cracked me up!
    you're gorgeous! you know that right? maybe your 24 year old hottie neighbor might want to go for a run with you? she seems nice and obviously in shape (like you!), so maybe you could do something fun together like a run around the area?

  4. Haha! It is a weird thing, to remember our 24-year-old selves vividly and yet, not really see the difference until an actual 24-year-old is around. This happens to me in yoga a lot.

    But! (And I do mean BUT.) There is a new class I'm trying, and I know you have them in your area. It's called the Barre Method, although it goes by other names. It's ballet-based, I'm sure you've heard of it. Anyway, I've been taking it for many weeks now (we just got them here) and I have noticed a huge difference. This coming off regular running, bootcamp, and yoga that I was already doing. This is awkward to say, but that area of thighs (inner and outer) that we all deal with? It's totally reshaping. I'm kind of amazed. The exercises are super difficult and kill me, but so far it's been worth it. And here ends my informercial. But! Maybe that could be a fun new thing to try. Until we can rid the earth of 24-year-olds, I guess. :)

  5. Mandy - I'd for sure be giving him the stinkeye but I bet he'd find a reason that the tomatoes needed to be pruned RIGHT at that moment.

    Jeff - Yeah good idea. I'm sure the tenant wouldn't be creeped out at all if she saw me shooting pictures of her from the kitchen window.

    Brookem - For some reason I feel like she told us she doesn't work out - which makes it all even more infuriating! But I like your thinking. :)

    LesleyG - I have heard of the Bar Method and your thigh sales pitch makes it sound very appealing! Does one have to have dancer-like skills to go? Because I'm severely lacking in that area. I've thought about trying this pilates studio down the street from us...but I get shy about working out in public. I'm more of a DVD in the living room kinda gal. :)

  6. Well if she brought you guys guacomole...the right, neighborly thing to do would be to bring her cookies, and brownies, and cupcakes, and chocolate...pretty much anything to turn her butt into an ASS. :)

  7. When Mr. W comes up with excuses to do yardwork, just remind him that cute little 24 year old thang is going to think he's the creepy old landlord if he does that.

  8. First of all, I love our cousin. Second of all, you have the best ass in the whole damn family, next to my 13 year old's, and that really doesn't count. You cetainly don't want to see a 45 year old one, not to mention Big Giant Mamaw's....


Well, whatdya think?