One of the realities of living in Hollywood (especially when you're up the hill from the 101 freeway) is that you will routinely be woken up by the sound of helicopters. Or as some refer to them, "ghetto birds." They hover over your house, breaking the silence of your slumber with their rhythmic whirs. And they don't go away for what feels like an eternity.
Earlier this week, I was peacefully sawing z's when that familiar rhythm interrupted my sleep. Not one but two—maybe even three helicopters were overhead. I started to wonder if maybe there was a bad guy on the loose. And then I heard something loud coming from the very near vicinity of our house.
It sounded like metal banging. It sounded like someone was breaking into our sliding glass door. In fact, I was positive that's what was happening. The choppers were after an escaped con and he was now trying to take cover in our dining room.
I reached over and grabbed Mr. Wonderful with both hands, "There's a loud noise!" I whisper-shrieked.
He flew out of bed and immediately went for the bedroom door.
"Don't go OUT THERE!" I panicked.
But he didn't listen.
I prepared myself for the sight of him being hit with the butt of a pistol.
He took a step out the door, paused to listen, then turned back.
"It's the trash truck."
Oh.
He has since instituted a new rule in our marriage. I am never allowed to put two hands on him to wake him up from a dead sleep. Giving him a heart attack over the morning trash pickup was apparently not an okay thing to do...
My first week in Manila, I was awakened at 3AM by knocking on my hotel room door. They kept saying, "hotel staff (unintelligible)." I was coming out of a deep sleep trying to figure out what was going on when I heard them try to open my door with their key. I had it bolted, so it didn't work, but by the time I got up and made it to the door they were gone.
ReplyDeletePretty damn creepy.
Once again, you are your mother's
ReplyDeletedaughter!
HILARIOUS! Oh, how I love stories like this one! Kind of reminds me of my roommate freshman year of college. I had early classes; she did not. Without fail, every time the trash truck backed up outside our window, she'd stir as if it were her alarm going out. I giggled every time.
ReplyDeleteAT LEAST MR.W WAS HOME WITH YOU!! BUMPS IN THE NIGHT ARE BETTER WHEN YOUR SUPER HERO IS WITHIN ARM'S REACH.
ReplyDeleteHunnerWoof - Dude! Good thing you didn't open it. You might have gotten robbed and macheted! (I don't know how you spell that, but you know what I meant...)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - Scary, isn't it?
Nilsa - I feel better knowing someone else was disturbed by the trash truck. I swear I've never heard it before this - and I don't think it would have scared me had the helicopters not been hovering at the same time.
Someone's Mom - I know! I would have totally freaked out if he hadn't been there. I'm sure I would have been on my way out the bedroom window!
I don't wake up to the trash truck, but rather to my dog barking me out of a dead sleep at the trash truck.
ReplyDeleteOh, the many ways to have a figurative heart attack.
in fairness to you, trash trucks are LOUD! it sounds like Megatron is out there fighint Optimus Prime when they're out collecting trash.
ReplyDeleteThank you for making me laugh out loud!
LesleyG - Barking dog is probably just as bad!
ReplyDeleteMissMcCracken - Thank YOU for making me laugh out loud! Your comment was hilarious and brilliant. :)