Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Marriage: Because Icky Things Are Easier to Deal With When You Have a Sidekick®

 That is a homemade bandage on my cat's foot. It took two of us to apply it
and the process wasn't much fun.

Are you guys beginning to sense a trend here with my recent posts? Needy wife continually wants husband at side to tackle challenges and provide support. Let's just continue on that path, shall we?

I can distinctly remember the first time marriage made practical sense to me. I was nineteen or twenty and happened to be filling the bird feeder in my parents' backyard, daydreaming about how I'd travel to Europe someday. As my mind wandered through Italian fountains and French cheeses, I suddenly thought— "It would be really nice to have someone to go with me on my travels. Like a partner who I could do all sorts of fun stuff with. Wait a minute...is that why people get married?"

I had never thought about it from that perspective before. I'd always just sort of pictured two people playing house, keeping the cupboards filled with food, mowing the lawn when it got too high, taking annual vacations to the lake.

But a partner in crime who would have adventures with me? Now that sounded like something I'd enjoy!

My teenage epiphany realized its potential this past May when my new husband and I went to the Amalfi Coast on our honeymoon. Husband = travel buddy? Check!

However, in the months since then, I've come to understand many, many other important purposes that marriage serves. When I lost my job in October, I had a built-in financial and emotional safety net. When I had the opportunity to juggle freelance copywriting and personal writing projects, I had a cheerleader at my side, assuring me I could do it all. And this weekend, when I discovered bloody spots on the couch where my 13-year-old cat was laying, I had someone to recruit as my medical assistant.

Icky stuff is always easier to deal with when you have someone wincing next to you.

My cat had been biting his toenails or calluses or some other disgusting such thing when he got carried away and broke the skin on one of his back paw pads. Although I wanted to doctor him up because I felt bad he was injured, I also wanted to prevent him from leaving bloody footprints all over the entire house.

So with Mr. Wonderful's help, I held the unruly blob of fat kitty goodness in my lap and we wrapped him in Neosporin, tissue and surgical tape. I wish I would have taken video of him walking around with his "sock" on, because he kept trying to flick it off like someone who had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of their shoe. 

Fatty 2x4 puts the "por k" in "poor kitty." He was SO not happy with that bandage on his foot.

I can't tell you how thankful I was to have Mr. W there to help me through the incident. It deepened my respect for single parents and unattached pet owners and of course expanded my appreciation for the groom I landed.

Thank you, Mr. Wonderful for assisting me in Operation Foot Gash and for furthering my tendency toward codependency. Montycat and I owe you big time.


  1. Mr. W must feel like McDreamy. hehe

  2. I love this....my hubby and I get to all sorts of fun things with our old lady dog...clean her ears, clean out eye goop...it's great. I even texted him with a very nice note this morning..."I'm so tired, I slept all night with Holly's ass in my face". He wrote back and told me I should write for Hallmark. 10 years of wedded bliss, my friend.

  3. HHP - He may look like McDreamy, but I don't think cat triage is nearly as glamorous as life at Seattle Grace!

    Laura - That is freaking hilarious. Holly butt. I'm thinking of the little bed next to your bed that's for the dogs but looks like it's for a human!

  4. You're welcome, I'm here to help you with the icky stuff. Even if it makes me queasy.

  5. Mr. W - That's very sweet of you, especially because we both know how active your gag reflex is. :*

  6. How come only dogs get the lampshade treatment?

  7. Who did your proof reading?

  8. hahaha, love this post. I got the visual with the "kicking paw trying to get toilet paper off" lol. I have cats that do the same thing after a bath. too cute.

  9. Blood on the couch? Ew. I guess Panda's "goo" that was spilled isn't looking too bad now, is it?

  10. Wow TWA - We didn't have a lampshade handy to put on the cat...maybe next time.

    Mom - You are officially hired as my new proofreader.

    AnUndertaker - It's sad how funny that is to watch! Poor kitties!

    HunnerWoof - Oh dear the goo story made it all the way back to you? I think after that happened, Mr. W had to make peace with the couch potentially being destroyed over time. So he was very understanding about the blood. And thankfully I got most of it out!!

  11. Bummer - you removed the rude remarks you made to mom about your poor proofreading job? She was quite proud of how mad she made you!

  12. Sister - I thought she was just some random reader being an overly-critical douche! But when I found out it was her, I felt bad for writing such a mean comment in response.

  13. Pay back is hell! It made my day!

  14. Fat Kitty Goodness. Great band. Loved their show at the Roxy in '98.

  15. If I had to put a bandage on Dottie I would probably lose a limb. She's a wild cat! I think having a partner makes all these things easier plus you get someone to commiserate with.

  16. don't call you mother an overly-critical douche. LOL...actually...I loved your response (beofre i knew it was your mom)...I had one of those moments where I wished this was Facebook so I could "like" your comment.

  17. Gag! GAG! You're very descriptive about the grossness of your cat. I mean, EW.

    Still, I'm happy you have a collaborative relationship where you help each other out :)


Well, whatdya think?