Thursday, February 23, 2012

My Post-Bachelor Support Group May Finally Get Its Start

Despite more than one vow to never again watch the show, every season I find myself re-addicted to TV's matchmaking train wreck, The Bachelor. It is ridiculous reality slop but also one of my favorite guilty pleasures. So, last week, when a friend contacted me with an opportunity to see a taping of "The Women Tell All" episode, I nearly piddled in my full-coverage panties.

See, in addition to loving the show, I also have a fantasy about starting a support group for the poor, dejected women who don't get picked to be the bachelor's bride. These are beautiful (sometimes a little crazy), white-toothed, bikini wearing babes and yet, every week, they drown in tears, sobbing and cursing about how they can't figure out what's wrong with them and how they just wanted Ben to fall in love with them and why didn't he know they were soulmates?!

Oh dear sweeties... There are about 2.99 billion other men in the world to date. Some schmuck not choosing you on season sixteen does not mean you're going to be alone for all eternity.

If you know me at all, you know that I love to cheerlead for people when they're going through rough patches. I also adore doling out advice and tough love. Heck, I'm even planning to go through Martha Beck's coach-training program later this year.

So the idea of being in a studio with all the reject bachelorettes thrills me to no end. I wonder if I'll get kicked out for offering to be their wingwoman or teach them about manifesting. Maybe I'll just make a sign that says, "Your husband is out there. Quit all that crying."


  1. I *would* give you a really hard time about this. But you know about my Real Housewives issues so I'll just shut up. :)

  2. I hope you have so much fun! I'm so envious! Tell Jamie I was rooting for her until she claimed teaching Ben to kiss was a "fancy" move!

  3. If you want me to make a sign for you, I will ... but, it'll likely say, WHAT IF YOU DON'T EVER GET MARRIED? HOW ABOUT FINDING HAPPINESS FROM WITHIN??? Mwahahaha. I have no sympathy for women who subject themselves to participating in that show - heck, most of them are trying to break into acting, anyway! =)

  4. Two words: Jeal. Ous. :)

    I hope you get called to ask a question so you can find out why Courtney is such a B.

  5. I love it!

    I used to watch this show - Trista and Ryan I think were the last people I saw. I just got too frustrated with those gals wanting to be married so badly. Much like Carrie Bradshaw, I'm missing the Bride Gene.

    Have a blast and keep us updated!

  6. LesleyG - We all have our TV vices, right? ;)

    Brookem - I wish you could have gone with me! It was so fun. The girls are all so tall. And they pretty much matched their personas from the show, which kind of surprised me.

    HHP - I have a friend who went through the program and she couldn't say enough great things when I met with her to discuss it. I want to be a dating coach when I grow up! :)

    Nilsa - Good point! I'm going to recruit you to help lead my support group!

    Anita - You would have loved it! We'll have to watch the episode together - I'm going to go to my sister's that night again if you want to come!

    Christine - I think Trista and Ryan were the last nice people they had on the show! You are very, very lucky to be missing the bride gene. I think it comes with a lifelong hex.

  7. How fun! I like this episode and "After the Final Rose" even if I didn't watch the season. I will be tuning in!

  8. At least now that I have seen last night's episode, I know who you did and didn't get to see. I would have loved to hear you dish on Courtney, but I guess we'll have to wait until "After the Rose" since the dumbass is going to pick her.


Well, whatdya think?