My life has been filled with a lot of "twos" lately. There are the two cats I've had for over a decade. And the two primary writing clients I've been juggling for the last year. And the two houses I've been inhabiting. The two countries I've been traveling between since Mr. W started his latest work project. And last week, I had two of my favorite coaching cohorts staying with me.
One of the creative directors I work for made a joke that house guests are like fish—they start to stink after about 5 days. But my coach friends were here for 8 and 9 days, and didn't emit a single foul odor. That said, by about the 7th day, I was excited to get back to my solo lifestyle.
And then they left.
They moment the house was quiet and empty, I started to cry.
It could have been from exhaustion. But it was also just that feeling of vacation and fun coming to an end. I was filled with a deep empathy for empty-nesters in those first few moments they're alone at home after their kids have gone off to college.
Even when you're looking forward to flying solo, it still has the power to bring up swells of grief.
This got me thinking about the whittling that will take place in my life soon.
It made me wonder how much sadness I'll feel when I'm fully settled into just one wonderful house. I suspect there could be tears at some point. And don't even get me started on the floodgates that will open when I find myself with only one living cat.
I wonder if, on some level, we always have to grieve losses—even when we want them.
As I adjusted to being the only human in my home, I found myself drawn to one of the things I always know will recenter me: the outdoors. I took to my garden and almost immediately felt reconnected. Even when I am just one, there is no need to be lonely. My backyard is continually giving me new companions.
|Although these guys are arriving a little early, they taste amazing.|
|I ate that big one last week and it was so yummy!|
|Mr. W and I don't remember seeing any peaches on the tree last year, so I was|
really excited when I noticed these little babies today.
|Slightly stunted parsnips. Our soil is so hard. But I just roasted and ate these|
guys with dinner and they were quite tasty.
|And last but not least, our pride and joys: baby wine grapes. Hopefully we'll|
be pressing these guys when we live at the new house fulltime.