Friday, August 15, 2014

A Magical Journey Through Kitchen Renovation Land

Hey kids! Want to go on an exciting adventure? Through the swirly-twirly-gumdrop forest of kitchen renovations? YES! Well, come on! Climb aboard and I'll take you there!

We'll begin our journey in one the scariest parts of the land: Asbestos Alley. Be sure to hold your breath while we're going through here or ya could come out the other side with permanent lung damage!

Moving right along, we'll go through the tunnel of wonder to visit Dining Room Depot. Here you can easily grab a soda or stick of string cheese while you sit at your makeshift day-job desk. Maximum convenience.

Down river in the Wine and Coffee Shire, you'll see a shiny array of appliances all stacked together like something out of The Jetsons. While brewing espresso, you can heat up a bean bag to put on your rotator cuff that's sore from swinging a sledgehammer. Feel free to pour yourself a glass of grenache there, too!

In Guest Bedroom Gorge, you'll find a handy knife block station right underneath the blender and east of the dried pasta supply. I can't think of a better assortment of items to make visiting guests feel welcome!

Linen Closet Landing offers just about anything you might need to dine, bathe, or season your favorite meal. I think the collection of Kate Spade plates and Riedel wine glasses really enhance the sheet sets and wash cloths—don't you?

Our final stop is Hold Your Water Hollow. Once used as a bathroom, this cozy little plot now serves as a kitchen—complete with a state-of-the-art toaster oven, big smelly trashcan, dish washing sink, and dish draining bathtub. Hand soap is still available in these parts, but showering and all other business (#1 and #2) has been relocated to Dustville, formerly known as Tiny Bathroom Cove.

Unfortunately the bridge to Master Bedroom Mesa collapsed under the weight of about 14 giant boxes of kitchen stuff that is now residing in the closet, next to nightstands, and under a desk. Access to this region is strictly limited to the two crazy people who created this mess...

That concludes our journey through Kitchen Renovations Land! I hope you had a good time. And although I don't recommend trying to turn your estate into a setup like ours, I can say that cooking rice a crock pot and using a wok on top of the BBQ is easier than you might think. So maybe it's not so bad after all. Have a great day and keep your steam engines chugging. 



  1. And for the record, I was scraping wet glue off the floor at this point.

    1. And it stunk. Literally and figuratively.

  2. Replies
    1. I think we're actually insane souls.


Well, whatdya think?