Eye Candy on an Overcast Friday

 

 A cliffside view from Ravello, Italy

When Mr. Wonderful and I were on our honeymoon in Italy a few months ago, I realized something about travel that I'd never thought of before. One of the reasons I love vacationing so much is the continuous visual stimulation. Everywhere you look, there is something new to see. 

Walking around a city like Rome or Capri or Paris or Memphis, you're going to encounter things of beauty everywhere you look. 

I don't think I ever realized what a glutton I am for beauty. Seeing lovely things both calms and excites me. 

Which is why I'm now addicted to Pinterest. 

I resisted the urge to sign up for it for several months. And then one day a friend sent a recommendation email and I caved. If you're not familiar with the site, go check it out. It's a girls' eye candy dream come true. Gorgeous house interiors, cute outfit ideas, hairstyles, DIY projects, funny quotes, recipes—anything cool that's on the Internet seems to be getting pinned. I have now lost hours scrolling through the images on that site. It's a fantastic escape.

Almost as good as traveling.

While I'm talking eye candy, I'll leave you with this little snapshot from my Etsy store. Ooooh pretty colors, right? Have a great weekend!

Knife-Wielding and Wenises Just Don't Mix

My mom has this habit of getting off the phone with me and then calling five minutes later to tell me some random story she forgot to mention on the first call. It wasn't a surprise when my phone rang moments after I said goodbye to her Saturday evening.

"Yes?" I said.

"I forgot to tell you a weird story." Of course.

She went on to talk about how she'd been in the backyard a few days prior and heard a strange sound coming from the neighbor's yard. Naturally, she decided so spy through the fence boards.

What she saw was the neighbor's 20-something son throwing knives at a tree trunk. Stark ass naked (I believe those were her exact words.)

Now my first instinct was to ask her why the hell she was calling specifically to tell me this. Did she want me to go ask him not to do that again? Did she want me to call the police?

No. She just thought it was weird and wanted to pass it on.

We should get her a blog...

Anyway, as I thought about it later, I started to get kind of freaked out. I mean, one of those things independent of the other would be strange enough. Unless he was throwing knives in an Eagle Scout uniform, I think I'd be freaked out. And if he were doing yoga or gardening naked, I would just think he was communing with nature. But to be out there engrossed in a sort of violent activity while not clothed? That's a recipe for an amputated wiener. I can only come up with a few possible reasons for that kind of behavior.

1. He's a serial killer. Normal people don't do that sh*t. People who deep fry their own hamsters and collect human hair do stuff like throw knives naked.

2. He's batsh*t crazy. Total nutjob who needs to squeeze his nude little buns into a straight jacket.

3. He's a carnie. Every now and then when I was living in my old apartment, I'd see flame-throwers practicing their juggling in a nearby office parking lot. There may be a contingent of circus people in my old area that I never new about. Maybe the parents' neighbor is Nelbert the Naked Knife Thrower or something.

My mother didn't seem concerned that he was going to come across the property line and turn her skin into a dress for himself. She thinks he may in fact be some sort of circus person.

I told her next time he's out there bare-ass, she should strip down and wave over the fence, yelling "You into the nudist colony thing too?"

I guarantee that would scare him right back into his clothing.

The Rough Side of the Rockstar Lifestyle

Last night, I went for a run around Lake Hollywood (yes, there's a lake there - I didn't know this until about 5 years ago) and was wholly transported to a little alpine village somewhere with pine trees and deer (and sadly an audible coyote attack somewhere). It certainly didn't feel like I was minutes from the big white sign on the hill and the chaos of the city below.

This morning, however, I absolutely felt like I was in Hollywood.

I was rounding one of the sharper turns on the way down my street to Franklin when I came upon a car stopped in the middle of the road. A man in a van was coming toward us and I watched him slow and leer out his window. Irritated, as I usually am during my morning commute, I said something like, "Come on people what the hell is going on here?!"

Then I passed the stopped car on the left and noticed its driver.

Her eyes were closed and her forehead was pressed against the driver's side window.

I didn't even think twice (or think about going to knock on the window to see if she was ok) I grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911.

I've never had to call 911 before and was kind of freaked out about actually doing it, but it seemed clear to me that the situation warranted it.

As I gave my location to the dispatcher and tried to explain what I had seen, I parked the car and began running up the hill toward the girl. By that time a few other people had gathered and two guys were banging on her window. No response.

It felt like forever that I was on that phone. The man on the other end of the line was so calm. He asked me to approach her and check to see if she was breathing. I saw her chest fall and rise and felt relieved. None of us spectators wanted to open her car door to take her pulse for fear that she'd come toppling out.

But then the dispatcher told me that we should try to get her out and onto the ground. My new friends Travis and Krishna who had been driving by, maneuvered the door open and laid her seat back, carefully holding her head straight so her airway didn't get restricted. They were just about to move her onto the pavement when we heard the screech of the ambulance.

The girl flopped like a rag doll as the paramedics extricated her. I never once saw her stir or open her eyes. One of the firefighters jumped in her car and moved it over to the curb.

"Is she going to be okay?" Travis asked.

"She'll be fine," one of the firemen told us. "It looks like she just had a little too much to drink and smoke last night."

Travis, Krishna and I shook hands and headed back to our cars. I felt like I needed a second application of deodorant.

Just another morning in Hollywood, I guess.