Monday, September 3, 2012

Wanting to Take a Big, Fat, Red Pen to 50 Shades of Grey


A girl can only handle so many non-fiction, self-help, and meditation books. When days upon days have been spent studying for life coach training and trying to educate oneself on the principles of more enlightened living, there comes a time when one just needs to give in to mental lethargy.

And so, this week, I began reading 50 Shades of Grey.

I am only 53 pages in, but already I know that Christian Grey has very long fingers. The author likes to remind readers on every third page. It's also been pointed out thirty or forty times that Ana, the main character, finds Grey "unnerving" and "unsettling."

If James cut back on the repetition of language she used, I think the book would be about half as long as it is.

The worst offender I've seen so far was on page 24:

"Saturday at the store is a nightmare. We are beseiged by do-it-yourselfers wanting to spruce up their homes. Mr. and Mrs. Clayton and John and Patrick—the two other part-timers—and I are beseiged by customers."

Seriously? 

Was an editor not employed during any part of the publishing process? I'm thinking not. I cannot imagine ANYONE reading that and not drawing a thick red line through one of those sentences.

Not every page is as painful as the above excerpt. There have been a few scenes that flow relatively well and hold my attention enough to want to keep reading without complaining to Mr. W about something. But then I come across a word that seems so unnatural for a twenty-something to use in conversation...like "taciturn"...and I lose it. I don't think I've ever even heard any person—regardless of age—use that word in real life. It's like James is working weekly vocab words from English class into her prose. Very Dawson's Creek.

I plan to finish the book, although I'm sure I will keep griping throughout the entire process. I just wish I'd hurry up and get to the S&M parts already...

9 comments:

  1. Ugh. That book is a literary embarrassment. Everything from the grammar and lack of defect editing that you mentioned to the story, which is just a mess. I mean, I haven't read all of it so I guess there may be surprising parts but, ugh, just a mess all around. As part of ongoing training last year I took a seminar on "alternative lifestyles" and apparently the author needed that seminar because nothing I've read in those S&M parts is at all accurate or typical of that type of relationship. Anyway, I won't go on. I will just continue to shudder when a distant friend quotes the book in a Facebook update as if any desirable man would ever end an email with "Laters." Ha. Sorry. Shutting up. Please still be my friend. :)

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    1. It's disappointing that not eve the S&M part is correctly done! I read my first sex scene in the book last night and it definitely helped make up for some of the disappointing sentence structure and word choices!

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  2. I can't believe you can stomach the writing enough to read it. I only read the first paragraph and was like HELL NO. It saddens me that this is a best seller when it's so terribly written.

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    1. It's so weird because parts of it fly by without me noticing the poor writing. Now that I'm a little deeper into it, I've come to believe it's not ALL bad - just could have been done A LOT better.

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  3. I knew there was a reason I never wanted to read this book in the first place. You just named a second. =)

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    1. I have a feeling you could have a field day blogging about this book! :P

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  4. I've heard this same complaint from knowledgeable readers over and over. I haven't read then, mostly because I stay away from those kind of flash trend books, but this one, because it seems like it only climbed to the to based on sex alone, the actual writing was very poor. Rhina aka anonymous lol

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    1. I get sucked into the trends sometimes but this time the ONLY reason I'm reading it is because Mr. W bought it for me. I never would have made the purchase myself!

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  5. You could make it into a drinking game. Do a shot everytime his long fingers are mentioned!


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Well, whatdya think?