Thursday, May 23, 2013

Sucker Punches from the Universe

Image credited to this site

My calendar and to-do list have been putting me through the ringer lately. And I feel like a wimp for even saying that because I know there are loads of people out there who have far more on their plates than I do. But man alive, does it feel like the Universe been giving me a run for my money...

I think it really started to sink in when I had to drive up to the Santa Ynez house the night of Mother's Day to meet an appraiser in the morning (we're refinancing). Although I love going to the new house, those trips lead to neglect of the Hollywood house...and I often come home to find cat hair and cat litter covering every surface. I'm hoping it belongs to my two cats and they're not throwing wild parties while I'm out of town...

In the back of my mind I also knew that I'd be traveling again for the next 3 weekends, all while trying to balance some semblance of house cleanliness + yardwork (Mr. W's grapevines are particularly high maintenance...) + errands (for myself and other people) + a couple of much needed social obligations + those pesky jobs I'm juggling right now, with two different employers and my coaching business. Oh, and did I mention I also had PMS?

The icing on the overload cake was that I was set to lead a weekend retreat for four women I'd never met. And the topic was *Overcoming Overwhelm*! How ya like the Universe's sense of humor now?!

We have a saying in coaching that goes like this: "You've got to live it to give it." And clearly I was living it.

I asked myself the age old gem "How is this serving me?" and realized that, although endlessly painful and frustrating, my stress was helping me remember tactics that would be good to mention at the retreat. 

Thankfully, the weekend went well and I was able to squeeze in 2 full hours of weeding in the front yard before the girls arrived. When I came home Sunday night (after 3 hours in traffic) I was delighted to finally have a smidge of downtime.

And then the cat had some sort of seizurey thing where his back legs wouldn't work right.

And I went over the edge.

Mr. W took the brunt of my f-bombs and Trader Joe's beer tried unsuccessfully to calm my nerves.

The "I CAN'T TAKE ONE MORE THING!!!!!" soundtrack was playing over and over in my head.

But I rallied and got the cat to the vet Monday (he's fine, just needs to be watched in case it happens again). Held things together through my workload Tuesday. And Wednesday, heard the piece of advice that made everything finally feel better.

It wasn't overload, it was abundance.

Having someone position the situation this way released some clenching fist inside me and allowed me to start looking at all the craziness through a lens of gratitude. Sure I had tried to see how things were serving me the week prior, but something about attaching that word "abundance" to it made the feeling of it shift entirely.

I am lucky to have such a full life. A full life that overflows and spills messily over the edge of my cat litter box sometimes. I'm lucky to *have* to travel between two houses and two countries. I'm blessed to have so many social obligations blocking my nights and weekends. I'm fortunate to have such an influx of work filling my waking hours.

And when I can stop and see things from this perspective, I'm grateful for all of it.

17 comments:

  1. Isn't it funny how one word can change your whole outlook on things? Whether it's a math problem or a wine explanation or a work mix-up, someone says one word and it's like OH. I GET IT NOW. I like that idea of all these things in life as abundance. Great way to look at it. It shall be my new mantra when the travelling gets me in over my head! Keep your head up sister :)

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    1. Totally. And it's funny how sometimes it seems so obvious you wonder why you didn't get it earlier.

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  2. Your post had perfect timing. I had a mini-meltdown when I got home from school today due to:
    *my morning sub gave me a bad behavior report
    *my oil pastels were missing (which I had bought with my own money, then loaned out to someone who didn't return them, then found in the school art supply room in a state of disaster) and I wasn't able to do the art I wanted to do today
    *rain+traffic+lame drivers=seriously, slower traffic move right!!!!!
    *accidents on the carpet due to dogs locked up because they bark during the day (which we recently discovered through a mean letter sent by a neighbor after they complained to one another but not to us so that we had no idea this was happening because we WORK ALL DAY!!!!!)
    *my phone freezing up just when I wanted to text someone so I could rant out my frustrations!!

    ...and then I read your post.

    *My students will be better behaved tomorrow. Subs make for a weird day.
    *The oil pastels were found and can be re-organized by my students when we use them tomorrow.
    *I should have slowed down and practiced a little bit of patience while driving. It was raining pretty hard.
    *Our dogs are awesome and it's only carpet. Plus they were really happy to see me even when I was a jerk.
    *My phone un-froze and I could text successfully. Ranting was unnecessary.

    Life has been put into perspective. Thank you.

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    1. You are so sweet! And I feel like a fraud now because after I wrote this post I had more than one breakdown!

      I definitely think it always helps to put a positive spin on things. But sometimes you just need a glass of wine and a nap. :)

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  3. It's me again...I referenced this post in MY blog post today!
    You inspired me!!
    www.allstudentslearn.com/blog

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  4. Amen to that. When I think of all the things I *get* to do in a time of strain, vs. all the things I have to do or don't get, everything changes.
    I have this little thing I do when running errands, because ugh, blah, etc. I see how many people I can smile at and get them to smile back. I may walk around looking like a grinning idiot, but it amuses me and who knows, I may be the only person that smiled at them all day. I know, schmaltzy, as they say but also fun!

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    1. I love the smiling-at-people tactic. It's so true that that can immediately elevate your mood.

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  5. Wow, that's pretty awesome when one little shift in perspective changes everything. Sometimes, it's ok to feel overwhelmed (because, dammit, there's a lot going on), but it's great when you can transform those feelings into ones that reflect appreciation.

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    1. Yeah...the positive transformation has been fleeting. It definitely put things in perspective for a bit, but I think I need some bigger guns to sustain it!

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  6. I can't function when my pms gets bad, so you have my respect for simply getting out of bed, let alone getting all that done! I admire your positivity :)

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    1. Sadly I no longer have PMS and I still can't function! :)

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  7. Heh - I've heard that advice before, but usually it's said as "aw, quit 'yer 'bitchen." ;)

    But, hey, if you wanna give me your extra house, free of charge, to take the load off ya, I'm down with that. :D

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    1. If you hit be with "Aw quit yer bitchen," I will hit you in the face. Baby's a fragile little flower right now. :) And darn it I should have thought about having you stay at the house earlier. We're almost to the end and I have other house guests lined up so it's not worth it now.

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  8. I think the key there was PMS was present. I can't make sense of my emotions during that time- no matter how much exercise, sleep, Chinese herbs, and acupuncture I do. It skews everything! And a shift in perspective is great (but it's ok if you had to drop some F-bombs to get there). ;-)

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    1. I totally thought that was a big piece of it. But it lingered. Mr. W thinks maybe I'm peri-menopausal. :P

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  9. You know, I've been writing a long time, but I don't think I'd ever be able to use the terms "full life" and "cat litter box" in the same sentence. Kudos.

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    1. This is why I love it when you comment on my blog posts. I so needed that laugh.

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