Oh Stephanie Zinone, I so feel you sister. Just when I found him I lost him. He came home
a month ago and now we'll be living apart again. Thank you, Grease 2, for this gem.
a month ago and now we'll be living apart again. Thank you, Grease 2, for this gem.
I can't remember which class it was now, but in one of my advertising courses in college we learned a little bit about the psychology behind cognitive dissonance. I think we were discussing buyer's remorse. I don't remember a lot of things I learned in my college days, but the concept of cognitive dissonance has stuck with me all these years. And right now I'm in the thick of it.
I am holding two very opposing thoughts about where I want to live. And starting tomorrow, one of them is a done deal.
It's funny because I've been dreaming about the big move to California's central coast wine country for years—and dreaming of getting out of Hollywood ever since that severed-head-on-the-hiking-trail incident. So it's surprising even to me that I would be feeling any bit of sadness about the transition.
I suppose the biggest contributor to my conflicted feelings is the fact that Mr. W won't be moving with me. Yet, of course. He has to stay in LA until post-production is finished on his film. I just got him back from Vancouver last month and now we'll be apart again.
Live in a city that's not your favorite with your husband you adore OR live in a town you absolutely love, sans husband.
It feels like Sophie's Choice.
And then there are all the memories that live here. It's where we fell in love. It's where we learned each other and made pancakes and tested our cholesterol with a kit from the Internet. It's where I met our friend Pete. Where we cried and cracked up and shared secrets.
We're not selling the house yet (because the market isn't quite where we need it to be), so it's not like I won't be able to visit. But it won't be ours.
I started to picture other people in the kitchen and it was so bizarre to even entertain the thought.
Maybe the last owner of our new house feels the same. Strange that some odd couple from LA could be sleeping in his bedroom.
Cognitive dissonance.
Life is a weird ride. Thanks goodness we have movies like Grease 2 to provide a soundtrack.
Now you know why I don't make changes. I am way too connected to "stuff,
ReplyDeleteplaces, etc." You are a stronger being and will make beautiful choices in
your life. At least you can return to LA in a few hours any time you want.
Enjoy your surroundings and look ahead to bigger and better.
Love you,
Mom
Changes are a good thing in the long run. Especially if they involve purging crap!
DeleteAwwww, hang in there. The fact you have so many good memories in Hollywood means your time there was not a complete waste. I think you'll soon be reminded of all the amazing reasons why the two of you chose wine country to be your new home.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't a waste, it just wasn't really "us" anymore. And yes, I look forward to having a stockpile of new, great memories.
DeleteIf there is any feeling in me almost as strong as love it is nostalgia. Is that a feeling? I'm going with yes, it is. It is so powerful, and I have it with places, people, things, songs, food. You name it, I have some emotional connection to the past with that thing. It makes letting go and moving on that much harder, but a little easier too. And you've made sort of a slow transition, which I think is what us emotional/nostalgic/whateveryoucallit people need. Imagine if you had to give up Hollywood cold turkey? :)
ReplyDeleteI think it is a feeling and I'm not sure it ever goes away. I always get hit with it when I return to places from my past. You're right though - cold turkey would have been way harder!
DeleteChange is never easy. even when it's the clear choice, it's never easy. Its' nice that you have so many happy memories to go with you!
ReplyDeleteSo true. I keep trying to remind myself to surrender to it, but man is it hard.
DeleteI am also holding two very opposing thoughts. You're a smart person, yet you saw Grease 2.
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe that a movie connoisseur like yourself never saw Grease 2. It's a classic. One of my favorites when I was 6!
Delete