How to Get a Cat Out from Under a Bed

I have no idea whether anyone else will find this funny, but it made me laugh until tears, so I have to share it...

The other night, Mr. W and I were getting ready for bed when our little cat Zoë raced into our bedroom, under our bed, and went right to the middle section where we can't reach her. I tried to coerce her out with kind words and promises of cuddles, but she did not budge.

I figured I would just leave her alone and she'd wander out when she was ready, but Mr. W wasn't having it. As soon as he came into the room, he got down on his side of the bed and started trying to shoo her out. No luck.

I was sure we'd have to go get the yardstick like that one time a lizard decided to hide under our refrigerator.

I leaned over my side of the mattress, to once again try to encourage her to come get some petting, when something white sailed across the floor in my direction. I reached down to retrieve it.

It was a #10 business envelope. (I know them well from 15 years of direct marketing copywriting...)

"Did you just try to get the cat out from under the bed by throwing an envelope at her?" I asked Mr. W.

Apparently he thought it would scare her but it might be the last thing I would ever think to throw at a cat if I were trying to get it to move from anywhere. A shoe? Yes. A book? Could work. Even a crumpled up envelope might have tricked her into playing fetch. But a plain old flat one?

I laughed to tears. 

Clearly Mr. W's cat-parenting skills are a little rusty.